FADE

I am not afraid

I won't burn out in this place

my intention is to fade and I will, I will

AROUND THE BEND

Warten.

Eine Minute, eine Stunde, ein Jahr. 

 Zeit verstreichen lassen, untätig sein, bis ein bestimmter Zustand eintrifft.

Jeden Tag verbringen wir unsere Zeit damit zu warten.

Wir warten auf Antworten, wir warten auf den Bus, wir warten darauf, dass die Monotonie unseres Lebens endlich verstreicht.

Warten, warten und wieder warten.

Jeden Tag das Gleiche. Wir fragen uns, ob sich das jemals ändern wird. Werden wir irgendwann aufhören können zu warten?

Wir warten darauf einzuschlafen. Wir warten darauf zu sterben.

Und doch warten wir alle auf das Leben.

Warten.

Waiting.

A minute, an hour, a year.

Dawdling away, spending one's time idly until conditions turn up.

Everyday, we spend time on waiting.

We are waiting for answers to come, we are waiting for the bus to arrive, we are waiting for the monotony of our lives to pass.

Waiting, waiting nothing but waiting.

Everyday is the same. We wonder, if it will alter one day. Will we ever be able to stop waiting?

We are waiting for falling asleep. We are waiting for passing away.

Yet still, we are waiting for our lives to start.

Waiting.

GLASS HEARTS

I've tried to convince them

their words hurt like stones

I just wish they'd just leave me alone

perhaps vampires is a bit strong but..

Cause all you people are vampires

And all your stories are stale

And though you pretend to stand by us

I know you're certain we'll fail

and everyone’s competing for a love they won't receive 'cause what this palace wants is release

Hey peeps,

I know it has been a while and I really am sorry.

It has been a very exhausting january abundant in turning 18, traveling to Stockholm and handling all this shitty school and private stuff but now I am here again abuzz with excitement, pizzazz, effort, sadness, tiredness....

Since I actually am taking my A-Levels in a few months I decided to not just post pictures I took but also write essays, articles and stuff because I am both taking delight in doing so and teaching myself in writing good texts.

Be wound up to a high pitch and whilst waiting pictures paint a thousand words.

"We live in cities you'll never see on screen

Not very pretty, but we sure know how to run things

Living in ruins of the palace within my dreams

And you know, we're on each other's team"

- Lorde

behind blue eyes

IMPRESSIONS // LAST DAYS

No one knows what it's like 
To be the bad man 
To be the sad man 
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it's like 
To be hated 
To be faded 
To telling only lies

But my dreams 
They aren't as empty 
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely 
My love is vengeance 
That's never free

dåtid

As time goes by friendship pacts grow or are lost in the fire.

2013 has been exciting, devasting, fertile, unproductive, funny and, all in all, A Good Year, lately.

I have been going through some rough patch and I have got over it.

I studied, I failed, I gained.

 I lost faith in myself and won it back handsomely.

Fausses amis disappeared, reappeared and new friendships were made.

But what are friends for?

"And if I should ever go away

Well, then close your eyes and try

To feel the way we do today

And then if you can remember

Keep smiling, keep shining

Knowing you can always count on me, for sure

That's what friends are for

For good times and bad times

I'll be on your side forever more

That's what friends are for"

I usually do not talk with friends about my self-harm or depression. 

I am afraid of giving them ideas or make them feel bad, even when they say I could always talk to them.

I am not an easy person and I know about my moments of madness and my moments of glory,

but my friends love me as I am, no matter what. 

Let us all be grateful for our beloved ones because you do not realize what you have until it is gone.

Did you make any New Year's resolutions so far?

 Some photos taken a few weeks ago with some of my bestest friends on a Christmas fair in Berlin